i have so many feelings about this

so i understand that the message that is attempting to be communicated is that love wins but holy shit

miranda admits that she changed her whole life for a man that ended up cheating on her (and if you've seen the TV series, he is also kind of a man child that spontaneously wants to get a dog or have a baby) and this never gets appropriately addressed? she kind of just lowers her standards by accepting that he has cheated and moving on to maintain the relationship. that's not even my main gripe though - it's disastrous that her resentment and unfulfillment of her life with steve is just never properly addressed. yes, love takes sacrifices and forgiveness but she is right in her observation that she has changed her entire life for this man. she never really seems happy with these choices in the series and t just feels like she moves on from her discontentment by telling herself that it's all ok because she loves steve... as if that's healthy for a relationship. girlie you could have found a man that wouldn't spontaneously coerse you into getting a dog and moving out manhattan, the place where your whole life currently sits.

carrie and big's dynamic is less troubling, as they do seem to fall on the same page in the end of making decisions about the wedding based on external factors to their relationship, like a sensationalized article showcasing how glamorous it is that carrie bradshaw, writer of the sex and the city column is for finally leaving her status as a perpetually unwed woman approaching middle age. but in order to make this relationship work in the end, she compromises and closes her eyes to the mountain of resentment she has for big. he stands her up and her own HIGHLY PUBLICIZED wedding, which is not only incredibly hurtful and shitty, but also humiliating as press is present at her wedding. she ends up eloping with him, taking away a ritual that, while maybe not as aspirational to her as it may be to charlotte, is still a strange choice. sure, this is a more intimate setting, but where is the effort on big's part? once again, his willingness to be with carrie is dependant on how much she is willing to bend and sway to manage his complicated attachment. would you forgive a man who dicked you around for a decade and humiliated you at your publicized wedding, and accept an apology in the form of low effort elopement?

in the end, i was left feeling that both these women are making some serious compromises and framing it as romantic, where these feel unhealthy and unfulfilling in reality. it's especially disappointing because sex and the city is framed as a feminist piece of media, but these two women are completely submissive to the men they are with and the unhappy journey they are passively taken on by them.

charlotte finally having a baby was great though

i have not seen the second movie